Letting Go of the Need For Validation

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When building a profitable practice, freedom comes when you finally let go of the need for constant validation. Ask yourself: How sure are you of yourself? It’s hard to feel confident all the time. Sometimes you really just need to know you’re doing okay, that everything will be alright. However, reassuring yourself can be hard, especially when considering past history. You might have left behind unpleasant baggage. Isn’t it just a whole lot easier to find validation from someone else? Sure, you can.

Validation is a fairly simple fix. Most people don’t mind handing out a compliment or two, especially if they know and like you already. The problem is that this kind of validation is rarely satisfying. The effects never last near long enough. With this in mind, maybe it’s time to let go of validation once and for all. Instead, try embracing just how wonderful you are through some simple techniques.

Here are four ways to let go of your need to be validated once and for all:

1. Understand your true need. Just what are you really seeking out right now? For example, while you might be looking for a compliment on your new haircut, what you’re really wanting to know is if you’re attractive. Perhaps you’re even hoping to catch the eye of someone special. Delve deep and ask the hard questions about what’s behind your current need. Once you know this, see if you can discover a more satisfying solution to the problem. In this example, it might be better to remind yourself of what you like about yourself, and what makes you outstanding already.

2. Step back from quicksand. The minute you start trying to please those around you to be liked, you’re stepping into a mirey wasteland. You’ll soon discover you can never impress someone just once. You’ll always be trying to outdo yourself. Recognize when you’re falling into this trap and remind yourself it’s better to be liked for who you are, not how well you can fit someone else’s ridiculous standards.

3. Be true to yourself. Being agreeable to what other people have to say is not only another way to be liked, but it also compromises what you believe in. Take a pause now before speaking. Consider what you were about to say. Was this you talking, or them? You might want to reconsider your words. It is better to be honest about how you feel, or if need be, stay silent rather than compromise your ideals.

4. Show your individuality. Finally, just be you. Speak your mind. Be authentic and step out in confidence. Quit second-guessing yourself and instead live harmoniously with your own beliefs. Remember, never compromise who you are for the sake of flattery or acceptance. Instead, look to yourself and see just how wonderful you are.

I am Dr. Hassan, Board-Certified Physiatrist and Independent Practice Owner. I help physiatrists start and grow their own independent practice so that they can achieve financial independence and live without limits. Please go to businessofrehab.com/contractnegotiations to pick up the free guide to help you negotiate the contract of your dreams.

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Believing in yourself and your capabilities is key to letting go of the need for validation. Check out this blog post to learn about the innate power of self-belief.

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